All of this is very inconvenient, and right now I'm seething with .... well, I'm not really annoyed anymore, now that I've gotten dressed and I'm complaining about it on the internet. I'm not even really sure what headphones have to do with any of this, other than that headphones generally have just a little too short of cables, which is also, mildly annoying. Oh, that's it! Being tall is usually mildly annoying. Most of the time.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Headphones and Showerheads
Being tall is fantastic, but it does have it's disadvantages. One of the primary disadvantages is showerheads. Have you ever had to duck every time you wanted to take a shower because the showerhead is awkwardly at just below nipple height? Well, if you're not 6'5 or above, you have not had to deal with the minor inconvenience and awkwardness that is taking a show... Wait, that really doesn't happen too often to be honest. The only time that has happened was that time I was in San Francisco, and the other shower was even worse.... That's totally besides the point, those kind of things aren't minor inconveniences, they make every day living a pain in the ass. I'd rather have a shower that I can stand under than have to duck or sit on the floor of your nasty, hair covered bathtub. Have you ever had to make the decision when you are taking a bath of having your legs completely underwater (sitting), or having your torso completely submerged with your legs flailing in the cold air? I doubt you have random possible short person on the internet reading this. I bet you finding clothes that fit you to be pretty easy and convenient, don't you random internet short person?
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Brining OR Don't Leave Me(at) High and Dry
I think we all know the disappoint that comes with a dry bland turkey. You feel bad for Grandma, she's been making turkey with the same recipe for 30 years, but no one has had the courage to tell her that her turkey is a dry, tasteless, death trap. Turkey should not require gravy to be edible.
I could get into a whole debate involving cooking methods, but I'd rather talk about a solution to that problem. That solution to our problem with dry meat is a brine. Brining is a process somewhere in between marinating, and curing/preserving.
Brining makes meat moister primarily by introducing water into the cells of the muscle tissue. The brine surrounding the meat has a higher concentration of salt than the fluid within the cells of the meat, while the meat has a higher level of other solutes. The salt in the brine defuses into the cell of the meat, while the solutes inside can not escape due the cell membrane. Increased salinity in the meat forces the cells to absorb more water via osmosis. Once the meat and brine have reached a state of equilibrium, whatever else is in the brine can freely enter into the meat, introducing flavour where you couldn't otherwise. In addition, the salt (and whatever acids you may add to your brine) denature the protein, which tenderizes the meat, and allows the meat to retain more moisture. The denaturing process coagulates the proteins, forming a matrix that traps water (and flavour!) inside of the meat.
On the most basic level, a brine is obviously just salt water. In the culinary setting, a brine is almost always a solution of salt AND sugar, along with herbs and spices. In the ten years of brined turkeys, I've found that the optimal ratio of water:salt:sugar for a brine for poultry (in ounces) is :128:4:2. So that would be one gallon of water, one cup of salt, and one half cup of sugar. Using plain water is a waste though when you can substitute other liquids to introduce interesting flavors to your turkey. You can play it safe and use vegetable stock, go crazy and double up and use a stock that's the same as the meat (Ie turkey stock w/ turkey), or you can use a liquid that will compliment your meat and enhance it's flavor, juice. Apple juice/cider is a great liquid to use for turkey/pork brine. You can actually find an existing brine recipe (or use mine) and just add apple juice concentrate on top of whatever liquid you'd use.
Here's an example recipe that I've used for a brine in the past:
Apple Herb Brine
(note this recipe is for a large turkey, and should make enough brine to cover one as such. reduce the recipe if you're doing anything other than a turkey)
1 gallon of apple juice(you can skip the water and use all apple juice, but lower the sugar by 1/2 cup)
1 gallon of water
2 gallon pitchers of ice
2 cups salt
1 cup brown sugar
20 black peppercorns
one cinnamon stick
sprig of thyme
sprig of rosemary
two-three leaves of sage
two apples, quartered
Peel of one orange
Bring water/juice to a light boil. Take off heat, and stir salt, sugar, and dried spices until salt/sugar are completely dissolved. Let cool for a half hour, and then add the remaining herbs, apples, and orange peel. Add the ice and stir the brine solution until it cooled all the way through. You should have ice floating around if you've done this right.
Take your meat and submerge in the brine for one half hour per pound of meat. For turkey, I recommend doing this overnight, and this recipe is specifically for a large turkey. For a pork roast, I'd suggest half the amount since nothing is nearly that large.
Once your ready to cook your meat, take the meat out of the brine and roast as usual. You'll find that makes a huge difference. As to cooking methods, well, that's a whole different story.
I could get into a whole debate involving cooking methods, but I'd rather talk about a solution to that problem. That solution to our problem with dry meat is a brine. Brining is a process somewhere in between marinating, and curing/preserving.
Brining makes meat moister primarily by introducing water into the cells of the muscle tissue. The brine surrounding the meat has a higher concentration of salt than the fluid within the cells of the meat, while the meat has a higher level of other solutes. The salt in the brine defuses into the cell of the meat, while the solutes inside can not escape due the cell membrane. Increased salinity in the meat forces the cells to absorb more water via osmosis. Once the meat and brine have reached a state of equilibrium, whatever else is in the brine can freely enter into the meat, introducing flavour where you couldn't otherwise. In addition, the salt (and whatever acids you may add to your brine) denature the protein, which tenderizes the meat, and allows the meat to retain more moisture. The denaturing process coagulates the proteins, forming a matrix that traps water (and flavour!) inside of the meat.
On the most basic level, a brine is obviously just salt water. In the culinary setting, a brine is almost always a solution of salt AND sugar, along with herbs and spices. In the ten years of brined turkeys, I've found that the optimal ratio of water:salt:sugar for a brine for poultry (in ounces) is :128:4:2. So that would be one gallon of water, one cup of salt, and one half cup of sugar. Using plain water is a waste though when you can substitute other liquids to introduce interesting flavors to your turkey. You can play it safe and use vegetable stock, go crazy and double up and use a stock that's the same as the meat (Ie turkey stock w/ turkey), or you can use a liquid that will compliment your meat and enhance it's flavor, juice. Apple juice/cider is a great liquid to use for turkey/pork brine. You can actually find an existing brine recipe (or use mine) and just add apple juice concentrate on top of whatever liquid you'd use.
Here's an example recipe that I've used for a brine in the past:
Apple Herb Brine
(note this recipe is for a large turkey, and should make enough brine to cover one as such. reduce the recipe if you're doing anything other than a turkey)
1 gallon of apple juice(you can skip the water and use all apple juice, but lower the sugar by 1/2 cup)
1 gallon of water
2 gallon pitchers of ice
2 cups salt
1 cup brown sugar
20 black peppercorns
one cinnamon stick
sprig of thyme
sprig of rosemary
two-three leaves of sage
two apples, quartered
Peel of one orange
Bring water/juice to a light boil. Take off heat, and stir salt, sugar, and dried spices until salt/sugar are completely dissolved. Let cool for a half hour, and then add the remaining herbs, apples, and orange peel. Add the ice and stir the brine solution until it cooled all the way through. You should have ice floating around if you've done this right.
Take your meat and submerge in the brine for one half hour per pound of meat. For turkey, I recommend doing this overnight, and this recipe is specifically for a large turkey. For a pork roast, I'd suggest half the amount since nothing is nearly that large.
Once your ready to cook your meat, take the meat out of the brine and roast as usual. You'll find that makes a huge difference. As to cooking methods, well, that's a whole different story.
Finally Moving
I've spent long enough time wasted trying to perfect my writing on this trying to get the whole turkey deal done, so I'm going to break this down into segments and spend more time instead on each part. For some reason, that seems counter-intuitive, but eh, it'll work for me.
Monday, November 18, 2013
An Origin Story pt 1
Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional, any resemblance to actual events, people, place is either purely coincidentally or extremely deliberate.
Osias Kajiya was alone in his warehouse apartment, sitting at his modest white desk, holding a black spiral notebook and a pen in hand. The white desk combined with the retro seventies carpeted purple loveseat would have look strange anywhere, but they looked particularly strange being the only pieces of furniture in the large makeshift office space Osias had made to write in. Throw in the swath of old monitors that he had set up around him and the room looked quite surreal. A chipped bright lime green mug filled with lukewarm black coffee sat half drank, waiting to be finished.
Osias was stuck. He not only had writer's block, but he also found himself stuck in nearly every aspect of his life. The events of the last few years left him antisocial, and afraid to trust or let anyone into his life. He could barely explain what had happened to himself, let alone to any of his friends. Up until recently, he was a complete and total skeptic, but the universe has funny ways of making us change.
Osias' biggest problem was that his own curiosity and his overwhelming compassion for others always bit him in the ass. If he hadn't had such a desire to discover, maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. If he hadn't been so curious, maybe he wouldn't have experimented with so many substances with so many people. If he had cared so much, he would have taken the risk he did. If he hadn't been so curious, he wouldn't be in this mess at all. Osias didn't know he was in a mess, and he didn't know that everything in his life was about to change. This would be the last time that he would feel surprised, and it would be the last time he would feel afraid or powerless. Soon his (justified) paranoia and his fears worries would all be gone, replaced with new desires, and eventually new fears, and a different kind of paranoia, but the story hasn't reached that point yet. We're still at Osias Kajiya sitting alone at his white desk, drinking black coffee out of a chipped lime green mug, trying to figure out what to write.
As Osias finished the last of his coffee, racking his mind trying to think of something to write, a few promising ideas started to run through his head right as he was interrupted by three loud clangs on his front door, each a minute apart. After the first knock, he got up and waited. After the second, he headed towards the door. After the third, he lopen and looked out the slot of the heavy metal door.
There was no one standing outside his door.
A very unassuming package sat on the big foam mat in front of his door. The package looked like the average parcel, brown cardboard and all. it was strange that there were no labels or markings on the package, other than "To You, From Me".
"Weird," Osias thought to himself, mumbling aloud.
Osias Kajiya, outside of his height, had a very unassuming look to him as well, so he knew looks can be deceiving. Considering the fact that Osias was the only person at this hour in the area for at least a two mile radius on a Sunday night, and there was no one in sight didn't help his suspicion.
Reluctantly Osias unlocked the many deadbolts and opened the door, picked up the package and took it inside. The package was exactly two and half cubic feet inside, and didn't appear to be that heavy when Osias picked it up, but the package was heavier than expected. He carried it into his living room and set it down on the low coffee table in the area he liked to call his living room. Osias sighed and sat down on the black leather sofa that the coffee table sat in front of. He had many questions in his head, but the most obvious and pressing question was, what the hell is this package?
(to be continued)
Osias Kajiya was alone in his warehouse apartment, sitting at his modest white desk, holding a black spiral notebook and a pen in hand. The white desk combined with the retro seventies carpeted purple loveseat would have look strange anywhere, but they looked particularly strange being the only pieces of furniture in the large makeshift office space Osias had made to write in. Throw in the swath of old monitors that he had set up around him and the room looked quite surreal. A chipped bright lime green mug filled with lukewarm black coffee sat half drank, waiting to be finished.
Osias was stuck. He not only had writer's block, but he also found himself stuck in nearly every aspect of his life. The events of the last few years left him antisocial, and afraid to trust or let anyone into his life. He could barely explain what had happened to himself, let alone to any of his friends. Up until recently, he was a complete and total skeptic, but the universe has funny ways of making us change.
Osias' biggest problem was that his own curiosity and his overwhelming compassion for others always bit him in the ass. If he hadn't had such a desire to discover, maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. If he hadn't been so curious, maybe he wouldn't have experimented with so many substances with so many people. If he had cared so much, he would have taken the risk he did. If he hadn't been so curious, he wouldn't be in this mess at all. Osias didn't know he was in a mess, and he didn't know that everything in his life was about to change. This would be the last time that he would feel surprised, and it would be the last time he would feel afraid or powerless. Soon his (justified) paranoia and his fears worries would all be gone, replaced with new desires, and eventually new fears, and a different kind of paranoia, but the story hasn't reached that point yet. We're still at Osias Kajiya sitting alone at his white desk, drinking black coffee out of a chipped lime green mug, trying to figure out what to write.
As Osias finished the last of his coffee, racking his mind trying to think of something to write, a few promising ideas started to run through his head right as he was interrupted by three loud clangs on his front door, each a minute apart. After the first knock, he got up and waited. After the second, he headed towards the door. After the third, he lopen and looked out the slot of the heavy metal door.
There was no one standing outside his door.
A very unassuming package sat on the big foam mat in front of his door. The package looked like the average parcel, brown cardboard and all. it was strange that there were no labels or markings on the package, other than "To You, From Me".
"Weird," Osias thought to himself, mumbling aloud.
Osias Kajiya, outside of his height, had a very unassuming look to him as well, so he knew looks can be deceiving. Considering the fact that Osias was the only person at this hour in the area for at least a two mile radius on a Sunday night, and there was no one in sight didn't help his suspicion.
Reluctantly Osias unlocked the many deadbolts and opened the door, picked up the package and took it inside. The package was exactly two and half cubic feet inside, and didn't appear to be that heavy when Osias picked it up, but the package was heavier than expected. He carried it into his living room and set it down on the low coffee table in the area he liked to call his living room. Osias sighed and sat down on the black leather sofa that the coffee table sat in front of. He had many questions in his head, but the most obvious and pressing question was, what the hell is this package?
(to be continued)
Sunday, November 17, 2013
After you're done with the story, nothing else matters but closing the book
A chapter in my life has officially come to a close and now I'm left knowing how the story turned out in the end. So what was the story in the first place? It was a love story. It was a tragedy. It was a lesson, and something that has made re-evaluate everything in my life.
I've been all talk for a long time, and I haven't accomplished anything by my own standards. I could argue that I have in some aspects, but I'm not going to. I take that back, there is one thing that I've accomplished through this whole journey, I've discovered who I am, I've decided who I want to be, and I'm finally going where I want to be.
It seems that my destiny in life, at least for now, is to walk a lonely path. When you love the one person who you loved and confided in leaves you, bit it through death or a break up, the heart aches.
People don't just grieve over the loss of a friend, relative, or lover, but they grieve over ideas, over substances, and addictions.
I've gone on a lot of dating websites trying to find this perfect dream girl that just doesn't exist. Why is it impossible or unrealistic to want a significant other who is your best friend, and a great friend at that? Why is it too much to ask that person be compassionate and giving as much as I am? Am I too giving? I have been told I can be selfish, but on the other hand I have gone out of my way to give and help every person I can.
I don't want to be just another soul for sale. Our lives our temporary, and I don't want to keep living the same story, and being the pretender. I want to be someone who never backs down no matter what the challenge. I want to be the kind of person who never surrenders. I not going to be like all the others, I am going to find a way to stand out and make a difference. I want to help those who are in pain and those who are in need.
What does this all have to do with an ex finally saying enough is enough, I have no interest ever talking to you again? For three years I've punished myself because of how much I hurt that person, because of all that guilt, I lashed out at someone I truly loved with all my heart and soul and that's something that will be very hard for me to ever get over. Having not heard from that person in years, and having them tell you the truth, what you actually need to hear hurts.
The pain that's been brought back to the surface brings back old memories of the fall out of when this all started, and I'm reminded of why I want to change. I really was a horrible person. I was a liar, a cheater, a thief, I was lazy.. I had no fight in me. I was everything I hated. When I realized that back then it made me hate myself. I punished myself, but it's hard to explain that if you don't understand psychology. In my case however, it's a little easier. I punished myself by cutting myself off from the world. In a way, with my health problems and pain getting as bad as they did, I felt as if the world was punishing me. For months, every time I took a step and I felt the intense pain surge up through my feet and overwhelm my entire leg up to my hip, I felt as if I deserved something so severe.
I couldn't find hope to believe things would ever get better. I turned to suicide once again. Ah, Suicide. Suicide is one of the reasons why all this started, and all this happened. My suicidal tendency and history eventually became a source of abuse. I did something that I swore, I promised, I would never do. I abused someone I loved. I made that person afraid of me. It wasn't even the first time I had done it, and it wasn't the last.
I sit here at my desk tonight even, and I feel as if I haven't changed at all, even though I know I have. I've lost 80 pounds of fat, and put on 20 in muscle. I've stayed at the same weight for the longest time in my life. I've gone to the gym, outside of a few exceptions, every week for 7 months now. I actually gave church a chance and went every other Sunday for nearly year. I've been writing again, and for once I don't feel restrained.
I still feel held back though. I keep trying to quit smoking cigarettes for instance, and no matter how badly I actually want it for myself, I just can't seem to get past the first one in the morning especially. It's like my brain sometimes refuses to work without having a smoke break first.
Right now I can say is that one thing for sure has changed. I don't want to die anymore. I want to live. I want to live the absolute best life I can, and I'm not going to live with any regrets anymore because I have too many already. I know what I want, I know what I need.
So after all the talk, bullshit, broken promises, lies, and mistakes, what is a guy like me to say and do at this point in his life? There's one thing that I know for certain, and it's not tell everyone what I plan on doing. You can't play poker (and expect to win) if everyone can see your hand. I know that I've been gifted with great hand in life, and one bad card: my health. I don't think that I can't overcome it anymore at this point. I don't think that I can't fix my feet, or overcome my pain. I know exactly what I can do now. I have learned a lot of important lessons, and it is about time that I finally prove my worth.
No more talk. Just Results. Nothing Else Matters.
I've been all talk for a long time, and I haven't accomplished anything by my own standards. I could argue that I have in some aspects, but I'm not going to. I take that back, there is one thing that I've accomplished through this whole journey, I've discovered who I am, I've decided who I want to be, and I'm finally going where I want to be.
It seems that my destiny in life, at least for now, is to walk a lonely path. When you love the one person who you loved and confided in leaves you, bit it through death or a break up, the heart aches.
People don't just grieve over the loss of a friend, relative, or lover, but they grieve over ideas, over substances, and addictions.
I've gone on a lot of dating websites trying to find this perfect dream girl that just doesn't exist. Why is it impossible or unrealistic to want a significant other who is your best friend, and a great friend at that? Why is it too much to ask that person be compassionate and giving as much as I am? Am I too giving? I have been told I can be selfish, but on the other hand I have gone out of my way to give and help every person I can.
I don't want to be just another soul for sale. Our lives our temporary, and I don't want to keep living the same story, and being the pretender. I want to be someone who never backs down no matter what the challenge. I want to be the kind of person who never surrenders. I not going to be like all the others, I am going to find a way to stand out and make a difference. I want to help those who are in pain and those who are in need.
What does this all have to do with an ex finally saying enough is enough, I have no interest ever talking to you again? For three years I've punished myself because of how much I hurt that person, because of all that guilt, I lashed out at someone I truly loved with all my heart and soul and that's something that will be very hard for me to ever get over. Having not heard from that person in years, and having them tell you the truth, what you actually need to hear hurts.
The pain that's been brought back to the surface brings back old memories of the fall out of when this all started, and I'm reminded of why I want to change. I really was a horrible person. I was a liar, a cheater, a thief, I was lazy.. I had no fight in me. I was everything I hated. When I realized that back then it made me hate myself. I punished myself, but it's hard to explain that if you don't understand psychology. In my case however, it's a little easier. I punished myself by cutting myself off from the world. In a way, with my health problems and pain getting as bad as they did, I felt as if the world was punishing me. For months, every time I took a step and I felt the intense pain surge up through my feet and overwhelm my entire leg up to my hip, I felt as if I deserved something so severe.
I couldn't find hope to believe things would ever get better. I turned to suicide once again. Ah, Suicide. Suicide is one of the reasons why all this started, and all this happened. My suicidal tendency and history eventually became a source of abuse. I did something that I swore, I promised, I would never do. I abused someone I loved. I made that person afraid of me. It wasn't even the first time I had done it, and it wasn't the last.
I sit here at my desk tonight even, and I feel as if I haven't changed at all, even though I know I have. I've lost 80 pounds of fat, and put on 20 in muscle. I've stayed at the same weight for the longest time in my life. I've gone to the gym, outside of a few exceptions, every week for 7 months now. I actually gave church a chance and went every other Sunday for nearly year. I've been writing again, and for once I don't feel restrained.
I still feel held back though. I keep trying to quit smoking cigarettes for instance, and no matter how badly I actually want it for myself, I just can't seem to get past the first one in the morning especially. It's like my brain sometimes refuses to work without having a smoke break first.
Right now I can say is that one thing for sure has changed. I don't want to die anymore. I want to live. I want to live the absolute best life I can, and I'm not going to live with any regrets anymore because I have too many already. I know what I want, I know what I need.
So after all the talk, bullshit, broken promises, lies, and mistakes, what is a guy like me to say and do at this point in his life? There's one thing that I know for certain, and it's not tell everyone what I plan on doing. You can't play poker (and expect to win) if everyone can see your hand. I know that I've been gifted with great hand in life, and one bad card: my health. I don't think that I can't overcome it anymore at this point. I don't think that I can't fix my feet, or overcome my pain. I know exactly what I can do now. I have learned a lot of important lessons, and it is about time that I finally prove my worth.
No more talk. Just Results. Nothing Else Matters.
Beat Up Chicken Part Two: Roast Chicken Gnocchi Vegetable Soup Electric Bugaloo
It's a cold Autumn afternoon and you're craving a warm, filling, inviting and familiar soup. Chicken soup sounds like the perfect thing, the kind that those legendary grandmothers used to make. Chicken Noodle Soup made from scratch is just too much work for something so boring, no matter how delicious. So here's the perfect soup for you.
Roast Chicken, Vegetable, and Gnocchi Vegetable Soup
For this recipe, you're going to need:
One whole roasted chicken.
It can be a leftovers, as long as there's enough meat left on it. Leftover turkey will work great as well. Best solution: Get one of these prepared roasted chickens from the supermarket deli. Cut the chicken up, and put into an appropriated sized stock pan. (ie, whatever amount you end up making, should not take up more than 3/4 of the pan.). Put the chicken in the pan, and add enough pre-made broth to cover the chicken. Turn the heat on medium high, and remember to stir. You should also remember that there are more settings on your stove than on and high. Temperature control is critical.
While you're waiting for the chicken and the stock to come to a boil do the following:
Prep your vegetables and add them to the soup:
Celery. Get one of those bunches, cut off the bottom root part, and then cut of the tops and set aside. Cut the celery down the center lengthwise, then stack them up and cut them into 1/2 inch pieces.
A small bag of baby Carrots. You can use normal carrots, but this way you skip the work of peeling, all you have to do with this is cut them into four pieces, so they're about the same size as the celery
Add the carrots and celery to the soup, the celery tops, along with five peppercorns, a bay leaf, a spring of thyme, rosemary. If you have cheesecloth or twine, tie them all together and then put them into cloth. This makes it much easier to take out later on, but otherwise you can just toss them in and pick them out when you pull out the bones.
Add water or more stock to cover all the ingredients, and the put at a lid on it, set the stove to high. Remembering to stir every 5-10 minutes, bring to a light boil and simmer until the vegetables are not quite done. Pull out all chicken bones with a slotted spoon. (the best way to do this is to strain it out and put into a cold bowl so you can handle it with out burning yourself.). Once you've picked out all the bones, cartilage, et cetera.. add it all back in and bring the soup back up to a light simmer.
Meanwhile
Saute one large, diced yellow onion in olive oil on high heat, stirring constantly. Do not leave the pan for a moment unless the pan is off the heat! Season lightly with kosher salt and white pepper, and cook the onions until they become a rich caramel brown color. Then add two teaspoons of minced garlic, saute another minute, then add a couple sprigs of thyme and basil that have been finely chopped. Take off the heat, and add the mixture to the soup. At this point the soup close to finished. All you have to do at this point is add a package of prepared gnocchi from the store, and once they float the soup is done cooking. To enhance the flavor of the soup, honestly I like to use some bouillon, yeast extract, or chicken stock concentrate, but you can just stick to "all natural" ingredients. Semantics aside, the soup will taste a lot better.
To Serve:
Ladle the soup into bowls, top with finely chopped italian parsley, and serve with bread and butter. Best served with dry white wine or a lighter bodied ale or pilsner.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Free Writing About Writing
As I sit at my desk, and sip my cup of coffee, I begin to finally enter that zen-like state of mind that I need to write the way I want to write. It takes a lot to even get to the point of contemplating writing something. Cannabis often is a useful tool to find inspiration for my writing, music is another. Together they seem to just let ideas flow through my head. The weaker minded might find such a process useless or even terrifying, but for someone like me, it can be quite useful. Few people it seems can separate the fantastical from the reality, of well reality.
As I get to the last sip of my coffee, the music I'm playing comes to an abrupt stop. This is a good cue to me that I should refill my cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette, load another bowl and start a new playlist. It is often after repeated cycles of this that I find myself in a blissful state of insomnia, but of course, considering all of what that takes I often forget the fantastic ideas for my writing. I plan on changing that now, but only time will tell whither I actually do or not. Like most things, the gifts we are given are a complete roll of the dice. For me writing every day will help, but picking better topics, reading CONSTANTLY, and improving your knowledge can help you improve your writing just as much.
Outside of a few subjects, everything I've learned in the last few years has been of my own volition. I learned how to do statistical analysis, code in five different computer languages, expand my culinary repertoire, and just expand and build upon all of my existing knowledge. I hate to put this way, but in other words, you can become good at something if you don't want to in the first place. Even if someone forces you, it won't happen, or it won't stick.
So tonight I feel optimistic about the future. My philosophy has changed significantly. No more talk about what I'm going to do, I'm just going to make it happen.
The process of good writing is like anything else. Just like cooking, practicing every day will improve your skills. If you want to make your dishes(stories) more interesting, you need to research and check out new ingredients (ie read new books). Finding inspiration though can come in the strangest places, so just keep write everything down. If you're writing down all your random ideas, you're still writing, and that counts.
As I get to the last sip of my coffee, the music I'm playing comes to an abrupt stop. This is a good cue to me that I should refill my cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette, load another bowl and start a new playlist. It is often after repeated cycles of this that I find myself in a blissful state of insomnia, but of course, considering all of what that takes I often forget the fantastic ideas for my writing. I plan on changing that now, but only time will tell whither I actually do or not. Like most things, the gifts we are given are a complete roll of the dice. For me writing every day will help, but picking better topics, reading CONSTANTLY, and improving your knowledge can help you improve your writing just as much.
Outside of a few subjects, everything I've learned in the last few years has been of my own volition. I learned how to do statistical analysis, code in five different computer languages, expand my culinary repertoire, and just expand and build upon all of my existing knowledge. I hate to put this way, but in other words, you can become good at something if you don't want to in the first place. Even if someone forces you, it won't happen, or it won't stick.
So tonight I feel optimistic about the future. My philosophy has changed significantly. No more talk about what I'm going to do, I'm just going to make it happen.
The process of good writing is like anything else. Just like cooking, practicing every day will improve your skills. If you want to make your dishes(stories) more interesting, you need to research and check out new ingredients (ie read new books). Finding inspiration though can come in the strangest places, so just keep write everything down. If you're writing down all your random ideas, you're still writing, and that counts.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Beat Up Chicken Is the Standard Procedure
The standard breading procedure is one of the easiest, and probably the most useful methods used in the average professional kitchen. It is always the same, even the ingredients change slightly.
The first thing you want to do is prep your main ingredient for frying. In this case I used some whole, boneless organic chicken breast from the market. I cut them in to manageable pieces.
The smaller the pieces, the faster it will cook. You want the center of your food, especially if it is a meat that needs to be cooked all the way through like chicken, to be done at the same time as the coating on the outside. You don't want it to look like the picture below where the outside of the chicken is brown, but the inside is still thawed. If you're getting this, that means you have the oil too hot.
In every single case you are almost always going to take your protein or vegetable, cut it into manageable pieces, then season it thoroughly. In the picture you can see chicken that I've drained after being brined in a solution of salt, pepper, dried oregano, fresh basil, rosemary and thyme for an hour. You don't have to brine your chicken, but letting your protein sit in it's seasoning/marinade/brine really adds another level to the end product.
So once you've seasoned your main ingredient, you're going to lightly coat it in seasoned flour
Now let's say you're in the mood for chicken, but something different. Try waffle battered fried chicken. Now, usually I would recommend doing everything from scratch, but this saves a lot of time. Start with the lightly dusted chicken, but instead of using egg wash, dip it into waffle batter...
It should look something like this in terms of coating:
And drop it in the fryer.. flip over halfway through when the bottom becomes a deep golden brown.
If you don't like using flour as a coating for your chicken, after you dip it in egg, you can dip in instant mashed potato flakes, like I did below.
Below is the finished result of the three kinds of fried chicken. Top is the traditional, bottom is mashed potato coated, and the sides are waffle batter chicken.
There a lot of ways you can apply the same technique to other foods. Take some zucchini, coat it in corn starch, then dip in some instant tempura batter. Or you take some peeled raw shrimp, and use coconut instead of the other final coatings to make fried coconut shrimp! The possibilities are endless if you know what you're doing.
The first thing you want to do is prep your main ingredient for frying. In this case I used some whole, boneless organic chicken breast from the market. I cut them in to manageable pieces.
The smaller the pieces, the faster it will cook. You want the center of your food, especially if it is a meat that needs to be cooked all the way through like chicken, to be done at the same time as the coating on the outside. You don't want it to look like the picture below where the outside of the chicken is brown, but the inside is still thawed. If you're getting this, that means you have the oil too hot.
THIS IS A BAD EXAMPLE
In every single case you are almost always going to take your protein or vegetable, cut it into manageable pieces, then season it thoroughly. In the picture you can see chicken that I've drained after being brined in a solution of salt, pepper, dried oregano, fresh basil, rosemary and thyme for an hour. You don't have to brine your chicken, but letting your protein sit in it's seasoning/marinade/brine really adds another level to the end product.
In European and American Kitchens, all purpose white wheat flour is the norm, but you can use corn starch, soy flour, really any finely ground seed/grain. This initial coating/dusting allows the rest of whatever coating you're using to stick. If whatever you're breading/battering to be fried is dry and the flour doesn't stick, that's OKAY. I would suggest just using a wet batter in that case and skipping the standard breading procedure altogether.
There's multiple ways you can go from here. If you fry that just like that, and the toss it in some buffalo sauce or hot sauce and butter, you have some great boneless buffalo wings.
If you want your chicken to look like Church's or KFC, you're going to have to follow the standard breading procedure. Which begins with beating up some eggs:
When your eggs are all beaten up, toss your lightly floured chicken in and coat thoroughly. From here on it gets messy or involves some scalding hot oil, so be careful! Wash your hands after everystep if you are dealing with raw meat!
So once you've got your chicken coated nicely in that egg batter/wash, your going to take the chicken out (let it drip for a minute), and drop it in some seasoned flour like so.
If you want it extra crispy, take it out of the flour and drop it back in the egg wash, then put it back in the flour and coat it in again.
And maybe a third time for good measure. From there, it's straight into the oil you've got going in either a fryer set at 350, or 1/2 inch of oil in an oversized skillet, and cook until it's thoroughly browned and the meat is firm. If you did it right, it should look something like this:
It should look something like this in terms of coating:
And drop it in the fryer.. flip over halfway through when the bottom becomes a deep golden brown.
If you don't like using flour as a coating for your chicken, after you dip it in egg, you can dip in instant mashed potato flakes, like I did below.
There a lot of ways you can apply the same technique to other foods. Take some zucchini, coat it in corn starch, then dip in some instant tempura batter. Or you take some peeled raw shrimp, and use coconut instead of the other final coatings to make fried coconut shrimp! The possibilities are endless if you know what you're doing.
Tedium
Fixing people's computers is a pain in the ass. It's not that it's particularly hard, its that it is extremely tedious. It seems that most things I'm good at involve a lot tedium, boredom, and meticulously thinking. Be it cooking fine cuisine, So I know my fortes in life, it's just that every single one of them are a total pain in the ass.
Fixing someone's computer almost always begins with telling that person to restart their computer. Hopefully that person isn't technologically illiterate, or then I'll have to either; spend a half hour explain to Gram what a power button is, or I will just end up going to that person's computer, and fixing it in less time than the original conversation took..
If for some reason restarting the computer doesn't work, I will then go over the usual methods to alleviate the common issues most computers have. The usual method for fixing almost every common computer problem involves turning it on and off, restarting, and/or unplugging said device, then waiting. Sometimes you have to do this multiple times to get it to work, but usually that will do it.
In the rare event that restarting your device doesn't work, the most likely thing after that is a cable is unplugged or some program/feature/setting that is super obvious has been turned off or set incorrectly. Someone will complain that their sound isn't working, and more often than not it's because it's been set on mute, or the power is off.
The only time I generally find virii, spyware, malware and ilk of that sort is when someone is an internet explorer user. Internet Explorer, although designed as a "Web Browser", is actually a program designed solely for finding a replacement web browser.
Fictional Characters Fighting
I often find myself debating various hypothetical scenarios that would never actually happen, in reality or fiction. I do this to amuse myself most of the time, but sometimes I'll argue these situations with strangers just to get a reaction. Once in a blue moon, I'll find that I've chosen exactly the wrong person to debate who would win in a fight between Jesus and Godzilla. Not the religious like you'd expect, but mostly that people seem to agree that Jesus nor Godzilla would ever have a reason to fight in the first place. Or more often than not, they argue that Jesus would never fight a fictional character and somehow they fail to see the irony in that whole situation at all. That is why I like having these bullshit conversations with people. In lightens my day, and usually I'll get a laugh out of someone once I give them my answer.
Musing and Misfortunates of having a Large Stature
I am a rather large, tall man. I stand at 204 centimeters in height and weigh 102 kilo. For those ignorant of the metric system, that's a bit short of 6'7 and about 225 pounds. Not only am I tall, but I am proportioned in such a way that finding a pair of jeans, shirt, or, let's be honest any piece of clothing that I'd like to fit me is nigh-impossible. On the other hand, for some reasons girls ... really like tall guys, and thank the Gods that I am also well-proportioned for my height, to put it modestly.
Once I grew into my current height, I found the world to be quite a challenge. Let's use the example of living in San Francisco, near Chinatown for instance. Every single entranceway, awning, and often large stretches of ceilings, stairways and often sidewalks require a constant, neck straining ducking posture.
I've lived elsewhere in the city proper and it's just bad. The city was largely rebuilt after the 1906 earthquake, and I can tell you that people just were not that tall back then. Having to slouch constantly is a total pain in the ass when all you're trying to do is cook some eggs, or take out the trash, smoke a fag and chat up the lady across the alley way. Without hitting your head, of course. I assume that the reason why San Francisco is so bad is the combination of people being on average shorter when the city built, and most of those people being Chinamen.
Once I grew into my current height, I found the world to be quite a challenge. Let's use the example of living in San Francisco, near Chinatown for instance. Every single entranceway, awning, and often large stretches of ceilings, stairways and often sidewalks require a constant, neck straining ducking posture.
I've lived elsewhere in the city proper and it's just bad. The city was largely rebuilt after the 1906 earthquake, and I can tell you that people just were not that tall back then. Having to slouch constantly is a total pain in the ass when all you're trying to do is cook some eggs, or take out the trash, smoke a fag and chat up the lady across the alley way. Without hitting your head, of course. I assume that the reason why San Francisco is so bad is the combination of people being on average shorter when the city built, and most of those people being Chinamen.
Taking a shower is another thing that seems to give me problems. The average showerhead, in America at least, seems to be just above nipple height. Although this sounds useful if you have long hair and just got a perm, something like that I guess.. but it isn't useful for a man who keeps his hair short and likes to have the water flowing down over the whole body.
People stare in awe when you take off your gigantic shoes and stare in awe, but then when they're where they are supposed to be, thye bitch and complain. (after they've tripped over them of course)
People stare in awe when you take off your gigantic shoes and stare in awe, but then when they're where they are supposed to be, thye bitch and complain. (after they've tripped over them of course)
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